Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
