Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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