you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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