I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize