Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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