He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
