I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
