I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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