So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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