he thought i was a dude.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
