Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
