Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She announced her abortion via fbk
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
