holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
