I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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