I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
