He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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