She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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