So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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