that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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