Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
