Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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