According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
