I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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