its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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