More tranny stories later!
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
