I just made out with a guy for $7.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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