If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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