I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
