I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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