She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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