I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
