if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
