I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
