i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
