I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
