your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
