Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
