you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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