turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
