There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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