i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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