On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
