The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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