Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
