I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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