I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
