There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
