Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
