just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
