I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
