Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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