smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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