She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize