i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
