I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
