What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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