I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
