he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize