Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
