I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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