you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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